Been a while since I posted anything, but a few days ago was an important day in my personal musical history, so I feel I have to post an explanation.  I apologize, for anyone reading this will have to realize I’m very open to coincidences and spirits and the like, so if you’re not one to believe in that kind of thing, I would appreciate if you don’t rain on my parade.

On May 2, 1998, hide (pronounced HEE-day and always written in all lowercase letters), guitarist of X Japan, passed away unexpectedly.  At the time this signaled the end of X Japan.  Even though they had broken up months before, there was a hope that they would reconnect in 2000, but with hide’s death that hope faded.  The remaining members of X Japan played their ballad “Forever Love,” the last song they ever played together as a band at the New Year’s Eve kouhaku in 1997 and the song that brought them together during their Last Live concert earlier that New Year’s Eve, at hide’s funeral.

At the same time as hide’s death, the curtain rose on my very first pit orchestra experience, my high school’s production of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.  I knew nothing of hide and X Japan at the time.  Honestly, I was still in my pop/alternative phase and had not listened to anything metal related.  When I found out the coincidence that at the time of one of my influence’s passing I was sitting in what has become one of my favorite performance opportunities, I found it a little strange.

When X Japan reunited in 2008 and I got to attend all three shows, to say the experience was overwhelming is an understatement.  X did everything they could to have hide “there”, from video feed from previous concerts and his guitar tracks played on most songs, to an on-stage hologram during my favorite song, “Art of Life.”  Some complained that it was too much and the band needed to let go of hide, but I think it was a fitting bridge between the X Japan of yesterday and the X Japan of now.

A few days after the concerts, my friends and I visited hide’s grave to pay our respects.  It was so peaceful and beautiful, covered in bouquets of flowers and numerous gifts from visitors.  Many probably had the same idea as my friends and I, to visit around the time of the reunion.  I remember that I burst into tears.  I had not expected to do that, but it happened.  To this day, I don’t know why I did.

On the plane ride home, I knew I was going back to some very demanding and not very nice stuff, but I felt like something was guiding me, reassuring me that all would work out well.  After that I caught a glimpse of hide in some of my dreams, and even though I was going through a rough time, I knew I would be okay.  Somehow, I believe, there is some sort of metaphysical connection to hide because his music has inspired me.  My friends feel it, too.  Being in Japan for the X reunion was like a religious experience to me, so it only makes sense that there is some sort of faith or connection behind it.  It’s weird to think, but even weirder that this connection was probably forged a long time before I would even recognize it or see any part of it.

I have X Japan to thank for keeping me in music when things turned sour the first time, and the above experiences only renewed what I initially found when I needed a second dose.  I like to think that hide spends the majority of his time guiding his bandmates, but sometimes he turns and helps a fan in need.

The pink cloud X’s in the sky when X Japan recorded their music videos in Hollywood back in January only solidify that belief in my mind.

R.I.P. hide…may your music continue to inspire all who listen to it.

~ by violarockstar on May 5, 2010.

4 Responses to “Tribute”

  1. I think most fans of hide (the real fans, I guess) feel some sort of connection with him. I’ve had many times when I’ve been very upset, very lost… and then hide is brought up in some way, out of the blue. A friend randomly giving me back my hide plushie, my music player switching in the middle of a song to Pink Spider, and the few dreams with him in it that are just out of this world..

    I can’t wait for the day when I can finally go and visit hide’s grave. Funny, but I’m also looking forward to the Santa Monica Bay. It’s always surreal for me to remember that he’s not here anymore, but he was once was, even in America. I don’t have any idols or role models, really, just people that I really, really connect with… and so far those two musicians are hide and Sid Vicious.

    I know that the major decisions I’ve made have been decided by me and me only… but sometimes I get a little push in a certain direction by ‘someone’ or ‘something’. I believe that’s hide and his opinion.

    Pink cloud X’s? How funny and sweet of him…;) The 2nd passed quietly and uneventfully this year for me, which is different, because I usually do something out of the norm that day. This year I just made lemonade and raised a glass to hide. It was simple but I believe there’s so many people that are grateful to him, that he must be just drowning in affection.

    Thanks for sharing this with us. 🙂

  2. Thanks for reading! I always hesitate to label fans as “real fans” or something similar, but I understand your point, and agree with you.

    The second was fairly quiet for me, too, though I did raise a glass of coconut rum and Calpico to the sky for hide.

  3. regarding ones fantastic post. Really useful along with I liked studying the idea also other content. Thanks for giving along with carry on incredible work.

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