Inspiration – A Reflection of 2009

•December 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

It can come from anywhere.  As Miyavi once said, “I get inspired by music, my life, and my bathroom.”  This has been a rough year, so as we head towards the year MMX, it’s time to reflect on the good things that inspired me to continue on in music and in life.

Most of these inspirations happened late this year.  In fact, many of them have just occurred in the past few weeks!

If I had to pick one thing that truly inspired me for music this year, it was research for my thesis.  I wrote about Sugizo’s use of violin in rock music, particularly how he makes the violin sound like a guitar and the guitar sound like a violin.  What I never realized, though, was how influenced he had been through the music of David Bowie, JAPAN (the band – look them up, they’re pretty cool!) and Yellow Magic Orchestra.  I researched and learned how they all changed the course of music at the time, Bowie and Y.M.O. in particular, and how their innovations made for new paths and new sounds.  After listening to their music, then going back to Sugizo’s, I could hear what he had learned from them, and how he adapted it for his own work.  He has also gotten to work with many of his influences, except for Bowie, so that gives me hope that one day I can work with him and my other influences.

Back in April, Cinema Bizarre made their first solo stop in America.  These guys are young, but they have a stage presence and charisma much more experienced than most bands today.  Even though I was one of the eldest members of the audience who was not a chaperon, I only felt slightly out of place as I watched the band command the Knitting Factory’s (R.I.P.) stage.  Their opener, Tadahisa Yoshida, also left an impression on me.  I had not really known about him before the show, but I love his EP and listen to it frequently.  He’s also a fantastic live performer, which means more than anything.

Speaking of fantastic live performers, Dir en grey, my favorite active band, came back to the U.S. this past November and toured smaller venues than in the past, meaning I got to see them at the House of Blues instead of the Wiltern.  I got to stand in front of Die, my favorite member of the band, whom I had only watched from an obscured distance the past four times I’ve seen them.  The second night’s pit ousted Versailles’ concert as the craziest pit I’ve ever been in, as I had to fight just to stay upright!  After that show, I got the chance to meet the entire band during a meet and greet session.  I got to tell all of them how much I love their work, and when I told Kyo (in Japanese) that I love his voice, his eyes lit up and he beamed a huge smile and said, “Thank you!”  It brought me to tears to see that a sincere compliment from a fan can and does move even a seasoned musician.  As always, I can’t wait until they come back to the states!

Watching all of these performers on stage makes me yearn for the days when I get to do the same thing.  The biggest dream come true for me in 2009 was becoming part of Avery Watts’s live band.  For one night in Vegas, I got to live out my dream of being a rockstar, but miraculously the dream will continue as I will play the NBA Trail Blazers halftime show and a headlining concert at the Roseland Theater in Portland, Oregon, this Thursday and Friday night!  The months before getting connected to the band were some of the hardest I’ve had to face.  I felt uninspired and unimportant, and due to financial troubles and the horrendous unemployment rate, had to take on some jobs that I have never wanted to do.  Then this one opportunity came about and for once, IT WORKED.  There’s something about standing on stage with a small group of people who all have a common goal, who all have worked hard to get where they are.  Even though I don’t know the entire group very well yet, I know I will after this Portland tour and I really cannot wait for it.  I can’t imagine a better way to close out the year than to play for thousands of people, be a rockstar, and then go home to spend Christmas with my family.

In thinking about all of this, I think about the people I’ve been able to share not only these experiences with, but all the people I’ve met along the way who have shaped me into the person I am today.  Whether it was inspiration or motivation they thrust upon me, I know that everyone I’ve met means something to me.  It’s like I’ve been given one giant family to cherish, and that is the biggest inspiration of all.

Merry Christmas and Happy MMX to all.  May you find inspiration in everything you see and everything you do.  Love and cherish everyone you know.  And do everything you feel passionately about from the heart.

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About Jasmine You

•October 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

This is a post I wrote on my livejournal back in August, but I felt it needed a place here.  I hope Versailles’s performance at V-Rock Fest this weekend is everything they could hope for.

As some of you on my flist are aware, Jasmine You, the bassist for Versailles passed away earlier this month. While Versailles are not at the level of love for me that X Japan and Dir en grey are, I still love the band, their music, and their members. Hell, it was at Versailles’s Knitting Factory concert in June of 2008 where I got the most knocked around in a pit EVER AND had two guys wrestle on top of my foot for one of Hizaki’s picks. I found out about Jasmine’s death while I was on vacation, on the only day I happened to go online. What freaked me out, other than the fact that I had no idea he’d been ill, was that he wasn’t much older than me.

I listened to Versailles’s music for the rest of that day, feeling a little empty when I heard the bass, and during some of my favorites like “The Love From the Dead Orchestra” and “Aristocrat’s Symphony” I remembered the concert, seeing all of them up close, and being particularly amazed that Jasmine You could play in his elaborate costume. When I got back to California, in the midst of moving, I hopped online to JRR to find a 10 page thread about Jasmine’s passing. I started crying while reading all the messages fans had to say, and was most upset when I remembered it was only about a month ago that the band officially went major and had their major debut album coming out. It’s like time’s frozen for Versailles now, and I can’t imagine how each of the members must feel.

Playing in any small group is like a family. Not only do you work together and help each other out when things get rough, but you know how to read each other and you become close to each other. Depending on one’s upbringing, the ties of musicianship can be stronger than the ties of family. I don’t know if that’s true for Versailles… My mind is wandering…

When the American vigils were announced for NYC and L.A., I wasn’t sure if I was going to go or not. Part of me felt silly, like it was a lesser version of Michael Jackson’s death. But as I researched and read more about Jasmine, and saw what the fans thought as well as what his own family posted, I found it increasingly difficult to think of Jasmine You as just a member of an awesome band. Instead he became a vibrant presence, and even though I’d never met him in person, I felt that I met him in a way he would have liked – sharing in music.

After wrestling with my thoughts (and a little advice from my friend’s mom) I decided to go to the L.A. vigil. The dress code was elegant, in a style that reflected Jasmine You’s, so I wore my hour recital dress from Crane – sleeveless black with a panel of white down the left front, and a starburst of jewels above the panel – with my platform boots. I knew they’d be filming people for their comments, but up until this exact moment of typing I’ve been unable to put my feelings into words. Without hesitating, I picked up my violin and played the first movement of the Bach G minor sonata. It was rough at first, as I haven’t played it in years, but it didn’t take long to smooth it out. Then I picked up my viola and played the first movement of Bach’s D minor cello suite. It’s a bit easier, but brought back some suppressed memories of grad school. I didn’t know which to play, so I brought both instruments to L.A.

The vigil was outside. An easel adorned with roses displayed Jasmine You’s picture. A banner with his picture was set up for us to leave messages, and there were candles around. I met up with Sarah, Nikki, Andrea, and Krista, and put my instruments down. It didn’t feel right to play at that time, but I couldn’t say anything either. I watched the people around but didn’t really say much. I couldn’t figure out why I felt the way I did about someone I’d never met. As the sun set we took a group picture and held candles. That was when the police or security (I couldn’t see which) told us we needed to leave because we were on private property. Confused and saddened that we had to leave, we packed everything up. I didn’t get to play, and that made me more sad. I talked to Sarah, and we decided I could do it the following day, so even though it wasn’t at the actual vigil, it would still be added. Then she invited me to the restaurant where Versailles went for food after their L.A. show. The six of us there remembered that night and what little we knew of Jasmine.

As I drove home I realized part of what bothered me. When I think about the things I’ve done working for JRR and the concerts I’ve been to, I only think of the good. I don’t think about the negative side, with bands dissolving, members fighting and leaving, or members passing away. I don’t think about it because the music lives forever, and, being on the opposite side of the globe from this music’s point of origin, it’s not often that I get to see a band from their beginning and watch them grow into something amazing. In a way, I feel the same way about Versailles as I do Cinema Bizarre or 46ink (though with the latter, I actually KNOW them and have played music with them, but same concept – I saw them in the beginning and I can’t wait to see where they go) in that their music moves me, I enjoy it, and I’ve loved all their live performances. I couldn’t wait for Versailles to come back so I could see them again and marvel at how Jasmine You played in his costume….and I won’t see that second part ever again.

I got to Sarah’s apartment later than I wanted to, so I changed quickly into my dress and boots and pulled out the viola. We set up the easel once more and put up a satiny black sheet as a backdrop. Krista held my music and I played the D minor opening in memory of Jasmine You. I made some mistakes, but I didn’t want to do it over. It wasn’t about perfection, it was about emotion, and if I’d done another take my gut reaction would have been lost. After it was over, I felt peaceful.  That performance was for Jasmine You, and whenever I play that Bach movement again, he will be the one I think of.

In my heart, I’m dedicating the third movement of Respighi’s Ancient Airs and Dances to Jasmine You when I play it in Corona Symphony’s concerts this weekend. While the Bach is dark, the Respighi is light, peaceful, and comforting.

I hope Jasmine can feel all the love of his fans. R.I.P. Jasmine You. ❤

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Dreams

•October 22, 2009 • 2 Comments

We all have dreams.  We all have something that we want to pursue, something we want to accomplish in life.  Some dreams are loftier than others, but they are all significant.  Sometimes, people try to persuade us that our dreams are nice to strive for, but they are merely fantasies.  Those people make me sad.  It’s not a matter of being realistic or grown-up, it’s simply looking for something to motivate you, something to strive for.

I make it a habit to make my dreams come true.  It’s not easy, but it is so very fulfilling in the end.  It’s taken a great deal of work and a great many beat downs, but finally things are coming together.

Let me start from the beginning.

I grew up listening to popular music.  My dad would play Beatles records at night, and since my bedroom and the living room share a wall I would hear the music as I fell asleep.  When I started playing violin in fifth grade, I never understood why the orchestra couldn’t play songs people recognize, so I harped on my orchestra teachers throughout high school to program music people would like, things they would cheer for.  My youth orchestra, the great BYO (Brookhaven Youth Orchestra, defunct since 2003) fulfilled that need.  We played classical music as well as pop stuff.  Only now have I discovered that practice was rather unusual for a youth orchestra.

It was in BYO that I met some of my dearest friends, one of whom introduced me to the Trans Siberian Orchestra.  Immediately I wanted to do the same thing as TSO, combine orchestra and rock.  So many people thought it was silly.  I didn’t care.  I thought it would be cool to play with a band.

I went to college for music, and there I trained with the dream of becoming a performer of popular music and movie soundtracks.  I got a lot of flack for it, and was told on numerous occasions that I wasn’t good enough to be a performer.  I realized that the music industry is not about how good you are.  It’s about how long you are willing to wait and how many chances you’re willing to take to get where you want to be.  During a particularly low point in college (buried in work and dealing with my first real breakup) I discovered a band that gave me new life.  They are X Japan, my all-time favorite band.  I was particularly enamored with their drummer/pianist/leader, Yoshiki, who became my musical idol.  As college ended and I had to figure out the next step, I decided I wanted to work for Yoshiki in his L.A. studio.  In order to do that, I had to be in L.A., so I set out on a search of graduate schools.  I even went to California to appear for auditions in person.

Through my music business class, I got to attend one day of the NAMM show.  I wandered around, looking for electric violins to find the one that I would play if I was in a band.  I found a booth with strangely shaped instruments, including one violin that strapped around the body and supported itself.  As the assistant hooked the strange but really cool violin to me, I looked around and saw a poster for Trans Siberian Orchestra.  I was in the booth of Mark Wood, violin maker and solo violinist for TSO.  Later in the day I got to meet him, and to this day I’ve wanted one of his instruments.  I felt it was a good omen for auditions, and it reminded me of my dreams.  The first time around the audition circuit, though, I failed to get in, and after graduation, I did what many college grads fear and returned home.

Determined to get into grad school and out to the west coast, I practiced harder and found a new teacher to continue my studies.  My mom gave me a special present at this time.  One chilly day in December, we went into NYC and saw Trans Siberian Orchestra play at Madison Square Garden.  During the spectacular, which included not only a full performance of their Christmas Eve and Other Stories, but selections from Beethoven’s Last Night, the album which got me into them in the first place.  Towards the end of the concert, after lots of cheering and drooling over Mark Wood and his Viper, TSO’s leader told us a story.  He asked, “How many of you are musicians?”  I raised my hand and screamed.  “How many of you are parents of musicians?”  My mom raised her hand.  “Well, when I was in high school, I wanted to be in a band, and I told everyone that I was going to play Madison Square Garden.  All my teachers and guidance counselors tried to convince me otherwise.”  He paused, looked around, then shouted, “WHO WAS RIGHT?!”

I auditioned and got rejected AGAIN.  I felt so insignificant, like the universe was trying to tell me something.  It wasn’t that I shouldn’t be playing, because there had been too many instances where people thought I COULD do it and were very surprised when I did not get in the second time around.  As I pondered my next step, I received word that Yoshiki, my idol, would be the guest of honor at Otakon.  I immediately registered for the convention, made arrangements for hotel, and in the end I met my idol.  At the same time, my friend in California needed a roommate, so I moved cross-country with nothing but a dream.

It took three years, numerous gigs, connections, and twists of Fate, but I’ve finally started to get where I want to be.  I got in to grad school, and during a very tumultuous year had the opportunity to see the reunited X Japan (with Sugizo, my other musical idol) on a trip to Japan.  I figured, if THAT could happen, ANYTHING could happen.  Even though I constantly got told that I don’t play well enough, that there are people better than me, I refused to believe that I don’t have a place in the music world.  And what happened?  I got connected to the Golden State Pops Orchestra and get to perform movie, television, and video game music on a regular basis.  This past weekend, I became a member of Avery Watts’s live band as the violist in the electric string quartet.  It was an absolute dream come true, and I’m hungry for more.

I sound like I’m bragging.  My apologies!  I’m just really excited that something actually worked, that something has come from dreaming and reaching for the stars.  It pays to never give up, it really does.  It’s not easy, but the end result is worth all the pain that it takes to get there.

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The Introduction

•October 19, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Welcome to my world, where a musician refuses to give up until she’s achieved her dreams!  This is going to be my “official” blog, where I’ll talk and rant about all things musical.  Whether it’s a concert I’ve played, a concert I’ve seen, a reflection on a new song I’ve heard, this will be the place for all those thoughts for the world to see.  I will also chronicle the thoughts, actions, and musings of a musician trying to find her place in the music business and performing world.  Sometimes it will be happy, sometimes it will be sad, but there will always be a touch of optimism in there somewhere, because I’ve learned over the course of the past few years that NOTHING is impossible, as long as you believe it is possible.

~Rin

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